One passing comment about marriage, children, singleness, sex and so on is never just one passing comment. Instead, it is part of a larger discourse. It needs to be read in the context of the bigger story. It needs to be understood as something that both flows out of that broader narrative while also reciprocally informing and shaping that same narrative’s future.
A writer friend shared your article with me and while I have no context for the Twitter conversation that ensued from your holding a younger brother in Christ accountable for the words he used, I do want to say thank you!
Thank you for giving me words to use for my own experience. Thank you for writing this so I can share with others who don’t understand why I “nit pick” at words everyone uses. It’s easy for those who have lived the majority experience to ignore the blindspots, but for those of us who live in those blindspots, it’s impossible to ignore them!
The Body of Christ is meant to be whole. However, if single Christ-Followers don’t feel safe and welcomed in that Body, we aren’t functioning as a whole Body, but as a Body biased to the majority experience, and blinded to the fact that there is even a problem.
Apparently, Shane believes the married life is morally superior to the single life. He carries a big chip on his shoulder about singles. In a subtle sort of way, he creates his own spiritual hierarchy. Top of the list is husband/wife/many children. Infertile couples and singles take a back seat. I find Shane's demeanor reprehensible.
It's an interesting attitude because we all spend some time single. Almost half of married people will spend some if not many years single when their spouse dies. With increasing divorce rates there are even more single people in our churches - and I think divorced men have an even tougher time in church than most other singles. There are a lot of single people out there and not all church leadership understands that or has any idea how to cater for them once they get beyond the young adult stage but haven't as yet become elderly. It really shouldn't be all that hard - seeing singles as part of the congregation, including them and giving them opportunities to serve. That's about it!
A writer friend shared your article with me and while I have no context for the Twitter conversation that ensued from your holding a younger brother in Christ accountable for the words he used, I do want to say thank you!
Thank you for giving me words to use for my own experience. Thank you for writing this so I can share with others who don’t understand why I “nit pick” at words everyone uses. It’s easy for those who have lived the majority experience to ignore the blindspots, but for those of us who live in those blindspots, it’s impossible to ignore them!
The Body of Christ is meant to be whole. However, if single Christ-Followers don’t feel safe and welcomed in that Body, we aren’t functioning as a whole Body, but as a Body biased to the majority experience, and blinded to the fact that there is even a problem.
Apparently, Shane believes the married life is morally superior to the single life. He carries a big chip on his shoulder about singles. In a subtle sort of way, he creates his own spiritual hierarchy. Top of the list is husband/wife/many children. Infertile couples and singles take a back seat. I find Shane's demeanor reprehensible.
It's an interesting attitude because we all spend some time single. Almost half of married people will spend some if not many years single when their spouse dies. With increasing divorce rates there are even more single people in our churches - and I think divorced men have an even tougher time in church than most other singles. There are a lot of single people out there and not all church leadership understands that or has any idea how to cater for them once they get beyond the young adult stage but haven't as yet become elderly. It really shouldn't be all that hard - seeing singles as part of the congregation, including them and giving them opportunities to serve. That's about it!
Beautifully, eloquently written... I'm just sorry it had to be said at all.
What a lot of waffle!. You split hairs on a minor aspect of Shane's tweet. Indeed, you seem to further the fertility crash.