Singleness as a life of isolated buckling down and bearing up under; singleness as a life lacking in genuine intimacy, companionship and family; singleness as a life of existential unfulfillment and loveless loneliness is precisely what we have taught, insisted upon and promoted in our evangelical churches for decades upon decades.
Thank you for the encouraging support, it makes things much less stressful and difficult to withstand when there’s clear and biblical teaching/thought on such a vexed matter. Readers, do not muzzle the ox…..go read Gal 6:6…..head over to the supporters page, if you can, and measure out some practical support for such a needed ministry.
yep, and I was too busy trying to defend Andy’s stance--I forgot I totally disagreed with that statement on being single and chaste. Sharing this and reevaluating my priorities....
I recently read the book ‘Torn’ by Justin Lee who is an associate of Andy Stanley and was a speaker at the conference you refer to. A couple of things stuck me about the book.
1. Justin had no theology at all of human sexuality or theology of church as family. None. 4 times in the book he equated singleness and celibacy with being alone and conferred that God wouldn’t really want him to be alone. A similar stance to Andy Stanley. There was no examination of how church is to operate as a family, his focus was still very much on the nuclear family structure (though I’m not sure nuclear is the appropriate term for SS couples with kids?). His approach was to spend a chapter examining the 7 so called ‘clobber verses’. While I believe it was an earnest quest, it felt clunky, loopholey and incomprehensive . Not a robust, comprehensive, overarching theology of human sexuality at all.
2. I did think however, that he did a beautiful job of explaining the experience of unrelenting SSA. How it affects the ways that someone exists in the world. How there are no easy answers. How people misunderstood him and just expected him to change and ‘fix’himself. How being a minority can be painful.
I know I’m digressing, but I say spot on to your article. Indeed the church has fallen short of encouraging and empowering singles that a good life indeed can be had outside of marriage, even as a lifelong state. That our poor theology has adversely infiltrated into to SS marriage debate. We have contributed to the confusion and mess through the idolization of marriage and the devaluing of celibacy.
My final word. I say this because I need to say it and I need to keep saying it. I say it not because I think you need to know, I suspect agree already. Conservative sexual ethics theology needs to always be adjuncted with a good lashing of pastoral sensitivity and care. Always. It is a sensitive issue and the path of celibacy for SSA individuals comes with particular challenge. Being a sexual minority comes with challenge. We need to tell a bigger story. What could the next 60 years of your life look like in the connected, caring community of God (and then be that community). It makes my heart heavy when I see conservative Christians clanging around articles and hard, angry words from pulpits that tick the theology box but not the sensitivity and care box.
Thank you for the encouraging support, it makes things much less stressful and difficult to withstand when there’s clear and biblical teaching/thought on such a vexed matter. Readers, do not muzzle the ox…..go read Gal 6:6…..head over to the supporters page, if you can, and measure out some practical support for such a needed ministry.
yep, and I was too busy trying to defend Andy’s stance--I forgot I totally disagreed with that statement on being single and chaste. Sharing this and reevaluating my priorities....
Shared *immediately* with my pastor.
I recently read the book ‘Torn’ by Justin Lee who is an associate of Andy Stanley and was a speaker at the conference you refer to. A couple of things stuck me about the book.
1. Justin had no theology at all of human sexuality or theology of church as family. None. 4 times in the book he equated singleness and celibacy with being alone and conferred that God wouldn’t really want him to be alone. A similar stance to Andy Stanley. There was no examination of how church is to operate as a family, his focus was still very much on the nuclear family structure (though I’m not sure nuclear is the appropriate term for SS couples with kids?). His approach was to spend a chapter examining the 7 so called ‘clobber verses’. While I believe it was an earnest quest, it felt clunky, loopholey and incomprehensive . Not a robust, comprehensive, overarching theology of human sexuality at all.
2. I did think however, that he did a beautiful job of explaining the experience of unrelenting SSA. How it affects the ways that someone exists in the world. How there are no easy answers. How people misunderstood him and just expected him to change and ‘fix’himself. How being a minority can be painful.
I know I’m digressing, but I say spot on to your article. Indeed the church has fallen short of encouraging and empowering singles that a good life indeed can be had outside of marriage, even as a lifelong state. That our poor theology has adversely infiltrated into to SS marriage debate. We have contributed to the confusion and mess through the idolization of marriage and the devaluing of celibacy.
My final word. I say this because I need to say it and I need to keep saying it. I say it not because I think you need to know, I suspect agree already. Conservative sexual ethics theology needs to always be adjuncted with a good lashing of pastoral sensitivity and care. Always. It is a sensitive issue and the path of celibacy for SSA individuals comes with particular challenge. Being a sexual minority comes with challenge. We need to tell a bigger story. What could the next 60 years of your life look like in the connected, caring community of God (and then be that community). It makes my heart heavy when I see conservative Christians clanging around articles and hard, angry words from pulpits that tick the theology box but not the sensitivity and care box.
Could you do a book review on Not Yet Married?
PREACH. This is so good and so true.