There was still an underlying sense of disquiet on most Sunday mornings. Each week, I’d walk in and think, “Ok. Should I sit in a pew by myself and hope that someone comes to join me?” all while knowing that if they didn’t (as was often the case), I’d be sitting alone for the next hour, feeling simultaneously conspicuous and invisible. Or I’d think, “Ok. Should I approach some people already sitting down and ask if I can join them?” all while bearing the weight of almost always feeling like the ‘needy one’ in this equation.
I am married to an unbeliever, and attend church alone, every week. I understand the uncertainty and discomfort keenly. Thank you for sharing what has been on my heart for many years, and with such eloquence.
I am fortunate to worship in a congregation w many widows, so I can sit w one of them or w a younger single woman. I cannot remember, in more than 25 years worshipping as a single adult, any time a family has welcomed me to their pew.
Thank you for sharing this perspective. My wife and I have high needs kids which makes being intentional during church hard at any time, but I really appreciate your recommended action steps or things to consider. We’ve got a single guy in our small group and I had him in mind as I was reading this post. Thanks again for sharing.
This is truly what has made it difficult for me to find a church as a single. I struggle with social anxiety as well, so it makes it that much harder. Thank you for sharing this—it was good to feel seen!
Thank you for sharing so openly here, this is a really insightful post. I’m married with children and although I often feel lonely and anxious in church, my experience is very different to yours so it is incredibly helpful to get this insight. Your experience of Covid restrictions must have been so tough, it is understandable that’s had a lasting impact. I will be looking out for ways to chat, welcome and invite single people in my own church- your practical action points are so useful!
I am married to an unbeliever, and attend church alone, every week. I understand the uncertainty and discomfort keenly. Thank you for sharing what has been on my heart for many years, and with such eloquence.
I am fortunate to worship in a congregation w many widows, so I can sit w one of them or w a younger single woman. I cannot remember, in more than 25 years worshipping as a single adult, any time a family has welcomed me to their pew.
Thank you for sharing this perspective. My wife and I have high needs kids which makes being intentional during church hard at any time, but I really appreciate your recommended action steps or things to consider. We’ve got a single guy in our small group and I had him in mind as I was reading this post. Thanks again for sharing.
This is truly what has made it difficult for me to find a church as a single. I struggle with social anxiety as well, so it makes it that much harder. Thank you for sharing this—it was good to feel seen!
My most painful memory of COVID, as a single adult in the US, is that over the full year of lockdowns I experienced human touch only 7 times.
Thank you for sharing so openly here, this is a really insightful post. I’m married with children and although I often feel lonely and anxious in church, my experience is very different to yours so it is incredibly helpful to get this insight. Your experience of Covid restrictions must have been so tough, it is understandable that’s had a lasting impact. I will be looking out for ways to chat, welcome and invite single people in my own church- your practical action points are so useful!